There are so many things you need to know when you become a parent. A lot of things you learn on the fly because no one can teach you everything.

Having a newborn in our house has really changed my focus on life. I am realizing more and more everyday that my life is no longer my own. I’ve lived for almost 40 years doing what I wanted to do, eating when I wanted to eat, and sleeping when I wanted to sleep. Well, that’s all changed now. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change it for anything. The fact that I wake up and see this little face looking back at me every day melts every fiber of my being.

On Sunday morning I had another one of those “oops” moments. Eve was very restless and I was trying hard to calm her down. I had changed her, I was rocking her, and then I decided to feed her. I knew she wasn’t hungry but I fed her anyways because I didn’t know what else to do.

Our doctor told me during one of our initial visits that you can never over feed a baby who is breastfeeding. The baby is self regulate. So, as I fed Eve the 1^st of two bottles she didn’t calm down. I burped her and rocked her and she was just crying and crying. As she calmed and took the 2^nd bottle I thought I was doing well. After the bottle she wouldn’t burp so I laid her beside me on the couch and played with her. I don’t think 5 minutes went by before she threw up. She didn’t throw up just a little bit, she threw what I’m sure was almost the whole 2 bottles worth.

I grabbed her quickly, tossed her on her side then put her against me and patted her back. It shook me right up. As I shifted her down into the cradle position she looked up at me and smiled so big. I burst into tears. For the next 15 minutes all I could do is talk to her and tell her I was sorry.

I don’t pretend to know what all men think about having children. My father left when I was 11 and I didn’t really have that example in my life to look back on, but I know I want to be the best father I can be. I know I’m not perfect and I know I’m going to make mistakes, but I want to be the best I can be and this little girl challenges me to be that.

As she grows and develops starts to recognize me and the things around her I sit back in awe of this little person. I thank God every day for this privilege of being her dad, and I pray every day that I can be the best example of the man she needs me to be.